The last two weeks

Yes, yes the title is boring. When I start getting more sleep and my little gray cells (name that series) get restored, I may become more creative. As it is, I save my creativity for my girls, cooking and squeeze in some leftovers for preschool.  :)
Two weeks ago, Kotah started getting what we thought was croup. She is cutting her top 4 teeth and Katie used to get croup every time she cut teeth. Well, after a week of sats dropping, we took her in last week. With her slightly deformed trachea, every time she gets an upper respiratory problem, it is magnified. We did all the normal things, humidifier, cold walks, hot steamy showers, nebulizer excetera. But she wasn't getting better. Some days were better than others where she would be able to keep her levels in the upper 90's/ 100 by herself. But some days were bad, where she would be in the 70's while on a doubled dose of oxygen. Then her coughing took a turn for the worse, she started gagging and choking and throwing up when she would cough. Back to the doctors yesterday. The doctor told me the reason she had us come in is because if she had to place a bet on a child getting whooping cough after already being vaccinated, she would bet on Kotah and wanted to see. Sure enough. Sigh. The rest of us are all fine and healthy. So antibiotics, attempt to rest (you ever tried to make a 9 month old rest?) and another visit next week.
Other then her being sick, Kotah really is such a happy child. She can wave and say Bye Bye now. She tries to imitate what she hears. Her favorite book is Green Eggs and Ham because we make funny noises on the page where they are under water and she can do it too.
These past few weeks I have been learning and recognizing a lot about myself. The biggest thing I have realized is that I am a lot more chill than I used to be. With every thing we have gone thru with Kotah, I have come to appreciate and just enjoy the moments. The little things that I used to let bug me dont anymore. I am less quick to judge (though I still do and I continually work on it). I have become so patient with Katie. I love having my house clean, but I can survive if it's not. My lap is somehow big enough to hold two kids, but small enough to squeeze into the middle of the back seat. I am more concerned about the long run and how my actions now will affect the future for my kids.
This all came to head a few days ago when Katie made a mistake. I handled it calmly and in a loving manner. Someone commented to me that if she had been her child there would have been great repercussions for what had occurred. For me it didn't even cross my mind. Katie is three. She was tired and hungry. It's my job to teach her. We are on different levels, so why should I take personally every mistake she makes as a deliberate attack on me from her? When she talks back or argues, instead of a my way or the highway approach, we discus the situation and I try to show her the respect I would show to anyone else. She is right and reasonable in many aspects. Just because we see it differently doesn't mean I am right because I am older. This has come with much learning. I am so glad though to be able to  (most days) respond with this in mind. That is all due to many prayers and following the promptings of the spirit. I have truly been stretched to grow and become better in that regard. Many times I know I wouldn't do something on my own, but when the spirit prompts me and I follow through, I begin to become the kind of person that I really want to be.